Many students have very little desire to compete in tournaments. It's even more rare to see instructors competing. But for others, the call of the challenge is too hard to avoid, and the desire to prove ones self is overpowering. What sets these two groups of people apart? Why is competition beneficial? And, if we have an upcoming tournament, how do we prepare?


“Live daringly, boldly, and fearlessly. Taste the relish to be found in competition – in having put forth the best within you.” - Henry J. Kaiser


Let's begin with a look at why people do and don't compete. First, many choose not to step in the ring, because of fear. What if they get hurt? What if they don't win? What if they make a huge mistake? There is probably as many excuses as there are potential competitors. Let's face it, fear causes many, even good martial artists, to stumble. Another huge obstacle is lack of preparation. We've all known someone who would compete, but there isn't enough time to get ready. Lastly, there are those students who are so good, they choose not to compete unless they have sufficient competition.


“The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... These are the keys, that will unlock personal excellence - Confucius


But, are any of these excuses actually legitimate? In some ways, yes, but let's look at each of them again. Fear is a very real thing. Every day we face challenges and unknowns. Maybe we have a big test at school, or a meeting with a new client, at work. As martial artists, one of the great benefits is learning how to face fear and turn that energy into something positive. This goes along with competition too. Is there a chance we may get up in front of the judges and forget our form? Is there a chance we may lose that sparring match? Worst yet, what if we lose and end up in last place? These are all valid possibilities and someone always finishes last. But, someone also finishes first. I've seen many students afraid to compete, but then step out of the ring carrying a trophy or wearing a medal. One never knows what to expect until they arrive. Even the best competitors have bad days, and hard work really pays off.


“Fear is the the brain's way of telling us there is something important to overcome” - Rachel Huder


How about not being prepared? Is this a valid excuse? Is it possible to be a great martial artist, and not prepared to compete? Again, yes, it is possible, but another huge trait found in martial artists is their determination to always be prepared. There are no shortcuts in what we do, and the best way to be prepared is through constant and consistent practice. Regardless of whether we are preparing for our next testing, the next tournament, or some unknown self-defense situation, we should always be training and becoming better. This way, when the opportunity arises, we are ready to face the challenge, regardless of what form it takes.


“There are two types of people at belt testing, those who practiced and those who wish they practiced.” - Unknown


Lastly, let's look at those students who choose not to compete due to lack of challenge. I agree wholeheartedly that we don't learn, when we are always first. True learning occurs with defeat, but I ask what about the competitor? Are they learning anything by not competing against you? What is your lesson to them, they aren't worth your time? Again, that is not what martial arts is about. In saying this, I'm not saying that these decisions are made intentionally, but unfortunately, I hear it often enough to make an impression. Often ego is one of our worst enemies.


“Ego is just like a dust in the eye, without clearing the dust, you can't see anything. So clear the ego and see the world.” - Unknown


But let's change pace a little and look at some of the benefits of competition. Is it even worth the effort? Does it help forge a better student? Does it help to draw out the warrior spirit that is in all of us? For most of these questions, it is easy to answer, yes. Competition forces a student to step into the ring and apply their best efforts against someone else, and be judged accordingly. It is far different than a belt testing. At a testing, often everyone passes. In a tournament, only one ends with victory. But what if I lose? My answer is great! I would rather face some stiff competition and take last place, than to win an easy first. When one loses, they must re-evaluate their training. What is working? What needs changed? What mistakes did I make? How much effort do I need to put forth to do better next time? Often the answer is simple. Other times it requires a total overhaul of one's training program. Regardless of the changes, a student can walk away from the ring and know that what they learned will make them better.


“The ultimate victory in competition is delivered from the inner satisfaction of knowing that you have done your best and knowing that you have the most out of what you had to give” - Howard Cosell


So, a student has competed already, or they are preparing for their first tournament. What should they do to get ready for their next? First, a student should look at what events they will be doing. A student doing forms, for example, needs to practice the form they intend to use. They should break down each move, and work on stances, blocks, strikes, and kicks. They should train as often as possible and commit themselves to doing their ultimate best. If the event is sparring, one should work on footwork, combinations, blocking, and strategy. In my last several tournaments, I have found that I need to practice calming myself. I have been easily distracted and found I had difficulty focusing. To prepare for this in the future, I am working on calming and breathing exercises. Last summer, while competing at the world championships, I found that not only was I dealing with stress and anxiety, but in sparring, I found that regardless how strong and fast I began the matches, by the end, I was tired and out of breath. I have added a number of cardio drills to my workout, began running again daily, and will spend time doing many back to back practice rounds, prior to my next sparring tournament. Next time, I intend to be stronger, faster, and more aggressive.


“Don't train until you get it right, Train until you can't get it wrong” - Unknown


As illustrated above, there are numerous benefits to competition, it shows your strengths and weaknesses, it builds competitive drive, and the desire to succeed. It enables you to meet new friends, from other schools, and helps to develop potential life long bonds. It inspires you to push yourself harder and further, while training, and often fills the long, dry, gaps between belt testings. It teaches students to be good winners and more importantly good losers. It develops a sense of pride and accomplishment. In the end, it pushes each of us to be better martial artists and allows our inner warriors to shine. If anyone has a success story or advice, please feel free to write a comment and share your experience. Until next time, I'll see everyone, in the Dojang.

​

Today's topic is one that has weighed heavily on me over the last year. It is also the reason that I haven't written here in a while. For everyone who doesn't know, I have had some recent issues with my heart. I've now had three heart surgeries and I am hopefully on the road to recovery. My life is currently in transition as I, and my family, adjust to new conditions. But how did this happen? What could I have done to prevent it? And what does this have to do with balance?

Let's take a small dissection of my daily life and evaluate it. I always begin my day very early in the morning. I am blessed with the ability to rise early, ready and refreshed for the day. Unfortunately, this is also a curse. The only time I sleep in, is when I'm sick or had been up all night. So, on most mornings, I wake early, go to work early, and of course, work all day long. This usually includes a considerable amount of overtime, and the stress that is included with a corporate management position that, in itself, is often overwhelming. Afterwards, I usually don't have time to go home, so I go straight to our dojang. Like many martial arts instructors, I teach in the evenings and often don't finish class until well after dark. At this point, I then practice forms, kicking drills, calisthenics, and cardio. I go home, exhausted and tired, but, I'm still not done. Next I go for a short run and often stretch. By this point in the evening, my wife and dogs are showing a need for attention, so I then stay awake and spend time with them. By the time I got to bed, I rarely remembered laying my head on the pillow as I quickly fell asleep. My days are usually long and exhausting, so I only get a couple of hours to sleep. The next day, I wake and start the process over again. Even on the weekends, I would wake early, and work at the school. I had very little relaxation time, and I liked it that way.

For many this may seem like a lot of work. I am a workaholic and if left unchecked I'd follow this process indefinitely. I have found that the human body can sustain a huge amount of abuse, but the question comes down to how long will it last? As can be guessed, I ran too hard for too long and wore out the engine powering it all. In my drive to attain my goals, I failed to look at the little signs and warnings that my body was giving me. The warnings were there, but like most highly motivated people, I ignored them.

At this point, the answer on how to have prevented this is obvious, but I am going to take a more critical look at it. In looking at my daily life, I had already corrected many of the issues that exist in our society. I don't smoke, drink, or use drugs. I exercise regularly, and was in good physical condition. I loved to run 26.2 mile marathons every summer and I compete in Taekwondo and breaking tournaments multiple times per year. My ultimate goal was to keep myself prepared for any unknown that may arise. I also ate fairly well, although, like most people, I like to eat the occasional pizza, or steak when I dined out. Overall, my diet was fairly clean and healthy. Nothing up to this point sounds awful bad, until we reach my work schedule, sleep, and stress levels. This is where I realized I was out of balance. And why did it happen to me, at such a young age? The answer is genetics, unfortunately I haven't figured out if that is good or bad yet. It is bad that it happened early and is forcing me to slow down before I'm ready, but also good that it happened, forcing me to re-evaluate my life, while I am still young and strong. If not for martial arts training, I would likely be dead. Due to the hard work I endure every night, I get a second chance.

​ Let's begin by defining the meaning of balance. According to the Webster's dictionary, balance is defined as: a means of judging or deciding: a counterbalancing weight, force, or influence: mental and emotional steadiness.

But enough with confusing definitions, what is balance? Balance can mean something different for everyone. For me, I like to look at an analogy such as balancing a table solidly on multiple legs. Leg #1 is Family - My family is incredibly important to me. Leg #2 is work - I have bills to pay so work is essential. Leg #3 is social - My business, and hobbies are incredibly important, and will one day replace the work leg. Leg #4 is spiritual - My spiritual journey, and faith in God. If I remove any of the legs, the table may be able to hold its balance for a short while, but anything causing it to shake will result in collapse and my life will fall and crumble.

This might sound a little extreme but everyone has their own set of goals, and often these goals will change over time. When I was younger, my focus was on work, and providing for my family. I neglected my hobbies as I focused on my kids and work. Unfortunately, my two previous failed marriages will attest to the fact that I didn't focus on my wives enough either. In the future, I will one day retire. Work, as I now know it will change. I will find that I will have more time for family. I will also need to adjust my other table legs to maintain balance. There are plenty of negative stories about what happened to people after retirement. Often, lack of balance is the reason.

Instead of using a table as an analogy, many cultures believe in a triad, or triangle. There are three primary elements that need to stay in balance, Mind, Body, and Soul. Using this analogy, many of my prior elements change. Body consists of physical health, exercise, and diet. Mental consists of education, mental health, and stress reduction. Spiritual remains the same, in that one must maintain a belief system of some form. Without meaning and order, the other areas are meaningless.

Regardless of how you view your system, the first step in balance is to identify what is important, TO YOU, with at least one item from each of the three above mentioned categories. The second step, in the process, is to evaluate how you feel you are achieving each step. Honesty is important because often what we say and what we think are vastly different things. If you would have asked me several years ago, if I felt in balance, I would have said yes. But deep inside, I knew I was depriving myself of sleep and I was working too many hours. I was feeling the wear and tear on my body, but I kept telling myself I only had to hold out a little longer.

The last step is to make small changes frequently. One of the biggest reasons people fail in their endeavors is they go too fast and then can't cope with the changes. For example, if you feel you need to adjust your diet, do it slowly. Start to eat out less, or when you are out, eat chicken instead of a hamburger. Have a baked potato or salad instead of french fries. Eat fruit, yogurt, or a granola bar, instead of a doughnut, etc. Take each step slowly and consistently and you will eventually attain your goals. If it feels too hard, slow down.

This example goes for anything, exercise, relationships, family, religion, and of course martial arts. Make little changes each week until the little changes add up to become something huge. Eventually you will realize you are no longer standing at the bottom of the mountain, but instead making progress up the cliff. As you bring yourself into balance, you will become happier, healthier, and far more fulfilled. One day you will wake up in the morning and be excited for the day ahead. As for me, I am on my journey to bring my life back into balance, and I challenge everyone reading this, to do the same. If anyone has any tips, or experience, please leave it in the comments, so others can share with you. Until next time, I'll see you, “In the Dojang.”

When I first started Taekwondo class, as a kid, it was presumed that I had to do forms as part of a traditional training program. It almost seemed as if the forms were what made it a martial art. But today, many schools don't follow a traditional route. In fact, the popularity of certain martial arts hinges around the lack of formal testing and forms. So why have things changed? Are forms really important? And what do I foresee for the future?


“In the struggle between stone and water, in time, the water wins.” - Japanese Proverb


First, let me explain what a form is, for anyone not familiar with the term. They go by many names, also including patterns, hyungs, and kata. A form is a pre-arranged pattern of techniques, that when put together in the proper order, demonstrate the level of technical skill, for the martial artist. So lets take a quick look at what has changed in the martial arts world, and what impact it has had on our sport.


One of the most sought after martial arts today is one called Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Jiu-Jitsu is a grappling based martial art that closely resembles wrestling. One of the reasons for it's popularity is that it doesn't focus on testings, rank, or in some cases, even formal discipline. There technically are no forms, and instructors don't force students to memorize hundreds of moves to move forward with training. So, why doesn't everyone do BJJ? It's actually simple to answer. Many students seek out consistency, formal discipline, and rank. Does this make either martial art wrong? Of course not.


Let's look at the forms themselves. The other night, I asked my students to tell me why we do forms? I was given many answers ranging from developing better technique, better kicks, discipline, exercise, and rhythm. My old instructor used to define it as an imaginary fight. All of these answers are correct, although my reply is much different.


“The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in combat” - Richard Marcinko


Due to also training in Jiu-Jitsu, I look at this question from a much different perspective. It is a very simple, and basic answer. The reason we do forms is to force them to PRACTICE! As I said, it is a very basic answer, but let's go back and look at it in comparison to BJJ. In Jiu-Jitsu, a student learns control positions such as Mount, Guard, and Side Control. These are similar to a stance, in any stand-up art. Students learn submissions such as Arm Bars, Chokes, and Triangles. In a stand-up art, we would call an attack a strike. In BJJ, they also focus heavily on defending themselves against these attacks. In a stand-up art, these are blocks.


So if both arts have stances, blocks, and attacks, why do they both not have forms? Here is where my answer gets interesting. In essence, they both do. But wait, how? In Taekwondo we give a specific series of moves a formal place in the art. We tell the students that someone of your rank should be using these particular moves and setting up combinations of moves similar to these, effectively. To promote in rank, a student must be able to perform those techniques, correctly, and with proper intensity.


“I fear not the man who has done 10,000 kicks once. I fear the man who has done one kick 10,000 times.” – Bruce Lee


In Jiu-Jitsu, this exact same concept is used. The difference is that it is masked a little differently. Students are usually taught combinations of moves from each position so that they have several tools to use depending on where, or what, their opponent moves. These series of moves are drilled until the student can flow from one to another. Put simply, they are learning a short form. Instead of giving it a formal name, they use terms such as flow drill, game plan, tool box, or feed series.


“To achieve success, you must develop self-discipline” - Unknown


Why did this concept change? Why are they different? When I was a child, stepping into the Dojang for the first time, I was heavily influenced by movies and martial artists of that time period. Watching the Karate Kid for the first time, was life changing for me. Names such as Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris were very well known. I would go to my grand parents house and watch Kung Fu Theater on TV. Many kids were influenced by Muhammad Ali and later the fictional Rocky Balboa, which led to popularity in the boxing world. Watching these movies and learning about these artists, both real and fictional, always came down to focusing on tradition, and forms were traditional. I never thought to question this. I understood that by learning to fight, we taught ourselves how to avoid fights. We learned that discipline was developed from within, and peace was developed through focusing a continual calm, inwards.


Since then, many movies and our culture have shifted to fighting. Kids grow up watching the UFC, and even cartoons have gotten away from the importance of training and focused on the fight. Even video games are focused on the end product, and not on how to get there. Many modern day students don't want to learn tradition, and as sad as that fact is, it is the reality that we live in.


So, are forms important? That is a tricky question and needs to be answered based on a point of view. For me personally, I love training with forms. I enjoy the rhythm. I enjoy the ability to critique myself and strive for personal perfection. I enjoy seeing growth as my skills mature at each level. But, not everyone is me. Many people don't care to take on that life style. Many don't have the discipline to set aside time to practice. Many just want to learn a couple of moves and then get on with their lives. Everyone has such short attention spans that very few are willing to invest the time anymore. If your interest lies in learning tradition and the deeper meanings of our arts, I highly encourage spending time learning forms. If the focus is on learning how to kick, punch, throw, choke, etc., then a potential student should look at multiple different arts and figure out what they want to achieve.


“There are two types of students at belt testing, those who practiced, and those who wished they practiced.” - J. S. Doan


In conclusion, I wanted to show that there are many similarities involved in other arts, even those that don't take a traditional viewpoint. The choice of arts is dependent on the student. Taekwondo is a personal journey. A student comes to class, then goes home and practices. In BJJ, it is difficult to practice alone, so it involves more time in class, training with a partner. In both arts, students will be required to learn combinations of moves and be required to put them together in a series of combinations, to be promoted. They have different names, but the concept is the same. The simple question comes down to a students personality.


“The best martial art is the one you are currently learning.” - Unknown

​Every year we find ourselves setting New Year's resolutions that often fail before the end of January. I too am guilty of this, but over the years I have picked up a few tricks. In today's blog entry, I want to list a few of my goals, explain how I hope to reach some of them, and give tips to those of you who find yourself faltering.


If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time. – Zig Zigler


I am a complex person, so I usually don't start the year with a simple goal. I have a whole list of goals that I want to reach and in different areas of my life. These consist of my own personal fitness goals, martial arts goals, business goals, financial goals, etc. Many of these goals overlap, and some are independent. They are all important to me and will lead me towards my ultimate goal – early retirement, happy and healthy.


Goals are the fuel in the furnace of achievement. - Brian Tracy, Eat that Frog


So, let's dive in and look at what I've been teaching in class regarding “goal setting.” My students have learned that I define a Goal as “a dream with a deadline”. This is very critical because when I randomly asked students what their goal was, I got answers like “to get my black belt” or “to kick higher”. Although these are great dreams, they miss the fundamental element that makes them a goal, that is the deadline. If a student says, “I want to get my blue belt, AT THE NEXT BELT TESTING”, it is now a goal. It is also a goal if a student says “I want to throw a face high side kick, BY THE TIME I REACH PURPLE BELT”. Although it is a simple concept, many people fail right from the beginning.


If you don't know where you are going, you'll end up someplace else. - Yogi Berra


So let's look at some of my goals: On a personal level, I need to lose some weight. Throughout the past several months, I have started concentrating on my diet. Although, I don't eat the best, I have started tracking calories and eating more vegetables. This process has aided me in stopping the upward rise in weight, but also has not provided for a drop in pounds either. I am currently plateaued. So, what do I need to do to get over the hump and start dropping again? I believe the answer is more physical exercise. Of course, I am already very active and workout almost daily, so I need to either eat less or burn more calories. For my lifestyle, working out more is a better fit. So my official goal is to lose 1 pound per week, or ultimately, 25 pounds before July 4th.


Aim at the sun, and you may not reach it; but your arrow will fly far higher than if aimed at an object on a level with yourself. - J. Howes


Now, to achieve this goal, I need to look at my workouts. I currently workout around 30 minutes per day. But, in saying that, it isn't always consistent. Some days I work hard and leave the gym layered in sweat. On other days, I have very little motivation, and simply run through a couple of forms, not even losing my breath. My biggest focus this year will be on re-building my cardio levels. To achieve this, I intend to start running again daily, plus I intend to add in more kicking drills and calisthenics. Although, I'm not listing them, I intend to increase these weekly, and have separate goals for each. I will also continue to practice forms daily in preparation for my belt testing in 2019.


A goal is not always meant to be reached, often it is only something to aim at – Bruce Lee


In concluding, I have listed a couple of my many goals. So what is my reason for listing these? And, why did I go into such detail regarding my process? I workout in our Dojang, every night, after class is over. Students and parents are filtering though on their way out, and I do it on purpose so they see me working. Many instructors tell their students to practice every day, but those same instructors don't do it themselves. I want for my success to motivate my students. On the days that I'm motivated, hopefully I can motivate others, on the days I need that motivation, hopefully there will be students there to push me on. This is the ultimate requirement for success. Find some friends, build off each others strengths and be there to help each other through the failures.


With the right plan, hard work, and dedication to achieving your goal, anything is possible.


Those at the top of the mountain didn’t fall there. – Unknown

Over the last month we have been discussing the word compassion. And during these discussions many of my students have lumped kindness and compassion together, as if they are the same thing. Today I am going to explore this topic and show how they are actually vastly different things. We will also look at opportunities that will allow us to grow as a martial artists and develop more black belt spirit.


Wars begin in the minds of man, and in those minds, love and compassion would have built the defenses of peace. — U Thant


So lets begin by comparing these two simple words. For those of you who follow this blog, you will know that I define “Kindness” as doing something for someone else, with no thought of repayment or recognition. It is easy to see how someone would immediately compare this with compassion. So what is my definition for “Compassion?” Compassion means to “STRUGGLE TOGETHER”. Now this may not sound like a lot of fun, but it is the true essence of my definition. Being kind is a trait that we should always display. There should always be a smile on our face, we should be friendly to everyone we meet, and leave others with a sense of happiness that lingers, long after we leave. Compassion is a much deeper commitment. Compassion means to seek out those who are struggling, roll up our sleeves, and get our hands dirty, helping them. Compassion means opening our hearts and becoming vulnerable. It is more than just a simple donation to an unknown person. It is looking the ones we are helping, in the eyes, and feeling their pain.


The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. - Ralph Waldo Emerson


Now that we have a definition, lets look at how this can make an impact in those around you. Last night we had a lady come in for class. She makes it to class about once per month and doesn't seem to learn anything, when she is there. Many of the students hardly know her and view her as a student who will never make it to black belt. So why do I mention this, and why is she important? First, her and I have been friends / training partners for the last 20 years. She has always had the desire to accomplish her goal of black belt, but has never managed it yet. As I have known for years, she suffers from several medical issues that prevent her from being an active participant in class. Her disorder has also caused brain damage which results in memory loss. So imagine a student who has been training with her form, everyday in preparation for belt testing, then wakes up one day, and it is gone. Completely gone, to the point that she has to start over from scratch again. Hopefully everyone can immediately see why this is important.


But if we have the energy of compassion and loving kindness in us, the people around us will be influenced by our way of being and living. - Thich Nhat Hanh


So, now that we are aware of this, as compassionate martial artists, what should we do? How do we, as random students help her? What can her training partners do? Although overwhelming, the answer is simple, we must show her compassion. We should take up her struggle, right along side her, and go out of our way to help her. This may mean using code words, that can help stimulate her memory. This may mean volunteering to hold a bag so she can get in extra reps, and build muscle memory. It means becoming her friend and learning how to look for the signs, and then searching for the key to prevent her issues, before they occur. And most of all, we need to be understanding of her condition and give her the love and support that she needs to build her self-confidence and realize that her dream is within reach. We should also strive to help her know that we are all behind her giving all of the support that she needs to succeed.


No man is a true believer unless he desireth for his brother that which he desireth for himself - Muhammad


This is one example, but I want all of my students to understand how many other opportunities exist. So far, I have only discussed one young lady, but everyone knows someone in need. If a student is struggling at school, befriend them and offer to tutor them. If an elderly neighbor is having health issues, offer to mow their lawn, or help clean their house, carry in groceries, or simply sit and talk with them to help with loneliness. If someone is in a bad relationship, offer to be there when they need to talk or offer a shoulder to cry on, when the need arises. If someone is being bullied, offer to bring them to class. Help them to understand that they aren't alone, and you are there to show them another path.


While we do our good works let us not forget that the real solution lies in a world in which charity will have become unnecessary. - Chinua Achebe


Always remember, a warrior is not the one who seeks out fights. A warrior is the one who stands between the fight and the ones we love. A true warrior isn't hateful. They are caring and aware of the needs of others. A warrior understands that not every fight is fought with hands and feet, some fights are fought with the mind and heart. Part of our path, is showing compassion to those in need and leaving a legacy for others to follow.


Out of compassion I destroy the darkness of their ignorance. From within them I light the lamp of wisdom and dispel all darkness from their lives. — Bhagavad Gita

​If you ask anyone what fear is, you get a whole variety of answers. Many use it as an acronym and say that F.E.A.R., is Forget Everything And Run. Others say it means Face Everything And Rise. Still others may speak of phobias, while another might speak of much deeper tragedies such as loss of family members, job, or even health. Regardless of it's definition, FEAR affects everyone. The difference is how the individual reacts to that fear.


As both a martial artist and small business owner, I often deal with fear. I rely on a host of variables to ensure that my family is taken care of. Like everyone, I have bills to pay. I have a daughter to raise, I have a marriage to nurture. And I have a school full of students that rely on me to teach and inspire them. When I allow myself to become weak, and allow fear to creep into my life, I find many possibilities for ruin.


So why do I, and many others put ourselves out into the World, and stand against fear? Why do we risk that security? Why do we give up simplicity, and take on challenges and risks? That is the questions that I hope to answer today, as well as illustrate the rich rewards that come from overcoming those fears.


First, let me tell a story about why this topic is important to me. My daughter suffers from a rare genetic disability that effects her muscles and memory. In essence, the doctor said she would always struggle to do simple things such as walking and running, and more difficult tasks would be impossible. But, instead of giving in to the doctors sad story, we chose to place her in a different environment. Specifically, a Taekwondo mat. We decided to face some fears and put her on the mat with normal kids, kicking, punching, and sparring each other.


Every day, we would leave class with her crying and saying she wanted to quit. Every day she said she couldn't do it. Every day she felt like we hated her because we allowed her to be “tortured”. The road wasn't easy and she did not progress through the ranks at normal speed. Nothing came easy and she spent thousands of hours working, and training her body. First we started hearing comments from her teachers regarding how respectful she was becoming, then the comments changed to how focused she became. Later, we realized that her friends weren't even aware of her disability. She was able to run and play, just like everyone else.


Eventually, the hard work became her daily routine. She started to smile in class and grew to love the workouts. She started to accept responsibilities and even began teaching. She started to see that kids respected her and her abilities and she was their inspiration. One day they wanted to grow up and be just like her. At first she didn't believe what she was told, but soon she saw it was true and it made a very deep impression on her.


Several months ago, she stepped on the mat and tested for 2nd Dan. The reason I mention this is because she tested very well, but “no changed” due to a missed board break. Afterwards she had a 9th degree Grand Master, call her aside and tell her he was very impressed. She could have gone with the bare minimum requirements and passed, but instead, she challenged herself and accepted a no-change, knowing she didn't want to be average. She failed, not because she couldn't break the boards, she failed because she wanted to match the adult heavyweight males. Even I was impressed.


So lets fast forward to this past weekend. Several weeks ago, we were invited to a breaking tournament out of state. Myself and several of our students love competitive breaking, and we are always up to the challenge of breaking our own personal records. What made this weekend different is my daughter asked if she could sign up too. Surprisingly, she told me she wanted to compete. She only did one event, but walked away with a gold medal. Next time, she is looking at two events and has already begun practicing, after class. These are the actions that inspire me.


If asked, I'm sure she would say I am always tough on her, and that helps motivate her, but in reality, that strength comes from inside her. She has no idea how truly proud I am. So why do I tell this story while discussing fear? It's because every day, my daughter steps on the mat and faces that fear. She steps on the mat and does what doctors say is impossible. Every day she proves to herself that she CAN do it, and not only that, but she can do it well. She has found that by facing her fears, she steps out of her comfort zone and becomes a better person. Does she always succeed? No. But then constant success shows a lack of challenge. Will she grow up to be a successful adult? I honestly believe she will. She has learned one of the most important lessons of all. No one great has ever got there by accident.


So, next time you are faced with a challenge, look it in the eye and step forward. If it is a tournament, sign up. If it is a belt testing, show up. If it is a new job promotion, accept it. Fear will always be there, but so are the rewards. Once you have stared down fear, and won, the next time will be easier. That is the road to success.  

​This month, in class, we have been discussing the word “Kindness”. This is a word that may seem very simple to explain, but very few actually accomplish. At the beginning of the month, most of my students would quote the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.” This is a fantastic answer, but as you will soon see, it doesn't really cover the full depth of the word.


So let's begin with my definition of this word, “Do things for others while expecting nothing in return.” My definition is very similar except that in addition to treating others the way we want to be treated, I have included the reality that we shouldn't expect a reward.


Obviously I am preparing my students for the life lesson that not everyone, in the world, will treat them nicely. But not only that, there is also so much more to this. We all know that one person who does things, with the expectation of being seen by others. “Hey look at me, I'm a kind person because I did this.” Worse yet are those who say “I helped you last month, so you have to help me this month”.


Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up. ~Jesse Jackson


As warriors, our code isn't to help others when we feel like it, or when it is convenient. Our code requires us to stand between the enemy and those we love, regardless of the situation. This doesn't mean we must always fight. Sometimes this may mean doing other tasks such as tutoring a friend for the big math exam, or helping a friend make a car repair. It may also mean taking in a friend when they are homeless, or feeding them when they are hungry. Regardless of the enemy, we should be ready to defend our loved ones, at any cost.


A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives roses. ~Chinese Proverb


So let's look at a couple of real examples in my own life. One that really stands out from my childhood is a story I over heard my parents discussing. My dad is a very friendly person, and he waves at everyone, every day, everywhere. One day he was driving home from work and had a flat tire. A gentleman stopped and began helping him. As my dad began talking to him, he found that this was a man that he waved at every day, for years. The gentleman felt a bond of friendship, even though they had never met, and when he saw my dad was in trouble, he took the time to stop and help. My dad's daily kindness had made an impression, and when he was in trouble, the other felt it was time to show some kindness in return.


A fellow who does things that count, doesn't usually stop to count them. ~Variation of a saying by Albert Einstein


Another, more negative example is next. My wife has a family member with a drug addiction. She has been in jail, she has been kicked out of several apartments, her boyfriend tried to kill her, they are often hungry and always fighting about something. She frequently comes to us for help, and it always ends the same way. We have helped her get a job, where she is is often tardy, or absent. We attempted to help her get a vehicle, but she chose not to do it, because she was afraid her boyfriend would be angry. We have offered her multiple places to live, just to have her pull away and live closer to her addict friends. I could continue, but the point is this. Although our desire is to help this relative, what are we actually doing? Are we subconsciously helping her get worse? How does it help her, if she doesn't appreciate it? Unfortunately, in this case, sometimes the kindest thing we can do for the ones we love is issue out some tough love. It is difficult to do, but often a tough lesson is the kindest lesson. Kindness doesn't mean we always help. Sometimes, it requires us to stand back and let the loved one fail. It is often impossible to re-build someone until they are truly ready to change their life.


Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you — not because they are nice, but because you are. ~Author Unknown


As we look at our daily lives, we find many examples of times we should have been kinder. How many kids help their parents with housework? How many do it without being told? How many do it without expecting payment? I will end with a question my instructor asked on a daily basis, “What have you done for your mom and dad today?” For adults, what have you done for your family? What have you done for your neighbors? Your friends? Your co-workers? What have you done for your community? And most importantly, what have you done to create a legacy, that will carry on for many years to come? What will others say about us, after we are gone? It's a new day, go out and find someone who is in need of kindness.


Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. ~Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

​You walk in for your first day of class, ready to train, but instead you observe a student being disrespectful or throwing temper tantrums. What is your immediate assumption regarding that Dojang?Today's topic is a subject that is often debated and because of it, I've seen schools make some questionable decisions. So, let's hop into this topic and discuss several viewpoints. As, I was coming up through the ranks, my instructor always talked about the benefits of martial arts. We all know that it builds strength, and confidence, as well as discipline and respect. This is a subject very few martial artists disagree on, but what if we throw in the above listed disruption? How should this be handled and should we waste our time teaching this child?


Suddenly, the subject starts to get murky and the opinions of instructors start to become varied. So why am I discussing this subject and why does it matter in the greater scheme of things? Let me begin by explaining the reason this subject weighs heavily on my heart and why I make the choices I do.


Over the years, Rochester Family Martial Arts has had a number of students that are brought in, needing discipline. This is common in every martial arts school across the country. The difference is how every instructor handles these troubled kids. Where this seems to impact us, is this; we spend a lot of money on advertising, and often run specials. It is not uncommon for us to have 5-6 new students arrive for their first class, on the same day. I am always filled with excitement, ready to make a good impression, grow our school, and share in the art that I love. That is when the disruptions occur. There is always at least one student who decides to step into class with an attitude. They fight and argue and refuse to participate. They also end up being bad partners and cause problems during warm-ups, and bag drills. They even interrupt myself and the other instructors, while we are talking, and just demonstrate a serious lack of respect, overall.


The problem then occurs when the new students, or their parents, ask why they would come to a school to learn discipline, only to see a serious lack, thereof. As a school owner, I often ask myself, how much money do I lose due to this? These situations have led me to sit down with my Master and discuss what the next step should be. He always makes the same statement – “We DON'T have to teach everyone”.


So, then, why is this still a subject of discussion? It's because even though he says it, he doesn't really believe it. At what point does business and heart clash? Those who know me, know I am a Christian and have very strong beliefs. What I like about martial arts, is there is no clash between religion and the warrior arts. But why do I even mention this? It is because I feel the Dojang is no different than a church. Many people choose not to go to church because the members may act differently outside the walls, than what they do inside. I often hear a quote, “church is for 'sinners,' not the devoted”. So how does this apply to a Dojang? It is because the Dojang is a place for the undisciplined, to come, learn, and be changed.


If we turn them away, and refuse to help them, are we fulfilling the Black Belt Code? Are we living our lives following the Tennets? Are we really making a difference in the community, if we don't reach out to those who need us most? As a business owner I have a need to pay the bills, but as a Black Belt, I choose to live my life with honor. So due to this, our beginner class will sometimes be a little disorderly. The students might occasionally be disrespectful. And myself and the other instructors might come to disagreements as to how to best handle those troubled students. But throughout all the chaos, what I look forward to most, is the day I stand in front of that student, tying on their black belt for the first time, and knowing the transformation that occurred due to my perseverance. This belief is why I step on the mat every day and tie on my black belt. I choose to follow my heart, rather than the money, and will continue to do so. I don't need to be the biggest school or the most talented students. What I need is the knowledge that I am changing the lives of every student that steps on my mat, and that I am leaving behind a legacy that will continue to change the world, for the better.

​This week, I want to pursue a common question that I hear from many beginners. Is it better to train in one single martial art or is it better to train in several? Although, today the concept of mixed martial arts is common, many martial artists still hold tight to their beliefs that mastering one art is better.

For the record, I train in Taekwondo, Hapkido, and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I also have training in Japanese Jiu-Jitsu, Karate, Judo, Kickboxing, Krav Maga, Filipino Martial Arts and Shaolin Kung Fu. Am I great in every one of these arts? Definitely not. In most, I have only a basic understanding. In others I am very knowlegable. If I were in a fight and had to use these, which would I use? In that case, my list gets fairly small.

So let's examine this from both points of view. I know instructors that feel that their martial art is the best and that is all you need. Other instructors, such as myself, understand that every art has a weakness, so to train in arts that flow together in multiple zones, is far more effective. So which of us is right?

Although there might be many answers to that question, I believe that the answer falls somewhere in between. Everyone should have a martial art that they feel very comfortable with and be trained to use without thought. But, also having knowledge of other arts can aid a martial artists in unexpected situations.

For example, let's say that a Taekwondo student is defending themselves against a wrestler. Taekwondo is very effective at kicking range, moderately effective at punching range, becomes far less effective at close range, and is 'almost' useless during a takedown, or on the ground. The wrestler is ineffective at kicking range, not much better at punching range, but very effective at close contact, takedown, and ground fighting. So, who would win this fight? If the Taekwondo student could maintain the range and effectively use kicks, without being grabbed, the Taekwondo student has the definite advantage. If the wrestler gets inside the kicks and shoots in for a takedown, the wrestler has the advantage. The winner of the fight would be the student who held their advantage the longest while minimizing time spent in their weak zone.

So which martial art is better? To me that is a simple answer. The answer is whatever art you train in. All arts have strengths, and all arts have weaknesses. If you train hard enough at the strengths, you can overcome the weaknesses. So is it better to train at one art or many? Again, that is your choice. No martial artists wants to be a Jack of all Trades, and Master of None. But, that also doesn't mean that you should master on art and then stop learning.

The perfect martial artists is a perpetual student. I train in Taekwondo, every day. But, I still train in the other arts to expand my knowledge. If I ever again have to defend myself, I would focus on maintaining distance control, but if things don't go well, I am also fairly competent on the ground. Everyone should have a plan, then be ready to change that plan, almost immediately. My old Taekondo instructor used to talk about everyone having a toolbox. The more tools you have the more options you have. My Jiu-Jitsu instructor also talks about having a game plan. You should focus and train your "go-to" moves regularly, but also continually train additional moves to expand your knowledge.

So, to sum up the above. The answer is simple. Just train! It doesn't matter if it is one art or several. They are all effective against an untrained aggressor and someone properly trained in martial arts generally has enough self-control to avoid a fight. Once training becomes a life style, you quickly learn that there are always more lessons to be learned. Be open, because you never know what you might learn or when you might need it.

I often ask the question, "what is honor", but very few can actually answer it. I get answers like "it's what you do" or "it's the way you think", but none of these actually answers the question. In today's blog, I intend to look at the word, itself, discuss how it impacts the life of a martial artists, and look at it's impact on black belt attitude.

For me to define the word, I associate it with a two step answer. The first part is "Belief". An honorable person must "believe" in something. This is also not just any belief, but more importantly, a belief in what is right and what is wrong. The second part is "Actions". An honorable person can't just sit back and ignore those around him. They must stand-up to those who are doing wrong.
 
"He has honor if he holds himself to an ideal of conduct, though it is inconvenient, unprofitable, or dangerous to do so." - Walter Lippmann 

To expand on this, I often think about how important honor was in Asian culture. During several battles, of WWII. After clashes between the US and Japanese forces would result in American victory, American troops would arrive to find mass suicides. Japanese troops had such honor that to lose a battle was so devestating they would rather die, than return to their families, having lost. This level of commitment is required to truly understand honor.

​"The greatest way to live with honor, in this world, is to be what we pretend to be" - Socrates

I am not suggesting students commit suicide, but I am suggesting that we train ourselves to have that single minded focus. For example, there is bullying in every school, but there never seems to be a good way, for the school systems, to stop it. Of course, we as martial artists have other options, and we should actively pursue them. In class last night I proposed a question. If someone was getting bullied at school, and a fight occurred, what would all the students watching do? I immediately got the answer I expected. Everyone would pull out their cell phones and start to record it, on video. So how does this impact a martial artists, and why do I mention this with regard to honor?

​"Nobody can acquire honor by doing what is wrong" - Thomas Jefferson

It's simple, bullying is wrong and every student who does nothing about it, becomes bullies themselves. To allow an action, breeds more of that action. An honorable person will see the wrong and do whatever needs done to correct it. I will expand on the topic of bullying, in a later blog, but for now, I want our students to understand this basic concept. Right is right, wrong is wrong. Ignoring the wrong we see is allowing it to continue. None of us are perfect, but as we strive, every day, to demonstrate black belt attitude, we begin to see that we need to be the shield that lies between evil, and those we love.

"Honor isn't about making the right choices. It's about dealing with the consequences" - Unknown

As we look out at the world, there is much evil, and we can't run headlong into every battle that occurs. What we can do is pick the evils we feel most strongly about and start to focus on them. This could be bullying, as mentioned above. It could also be domestic violence, rape, drinking and driving, or drugs. There are also far more basic occurrences like cheating on a test, or not listening to our parents. Regardless of the path we walk, as black belts, (or future black belts),we must work every day to become a better person than the one we knew yesterday.

If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to start a discussion below. And until next time, I'll see you, "In the Dojang".